July302014

pineplapple:

This is hands down the best parody twitter ever

(via fanartistglaucopis)

10AM

javeliner:

think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries

(via poryqon)

10AM

"Faggot"

lunadarkshine:

sueishappy:

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BLESS THIS POST seriously anytime someone says faggot this is what I have to explain.

(via poryqon)

10AM

cartoonnetwerk:

methtacular:

race representation in american television

This post is spot on wow

(via capslockapocalypse)

10AM

mrcomatoseoverthr:

shuckl:

wildy0ungbeautiful:

shuckl:

could i pay someone to take over my body who actually knows how to look after it so they can like. make me healthy again and then let me take over once i’m fit n healthy

You mean a personal trainer and a nutritionist

no i mean some sort of supernatural being who can do literally all of the work for me

So like the ghost of a personal trainer and nutritionist

(via fanartistglaucopis)

10AM

I had a brain fart today. Though I’m pretty sure someone else has thought and done something a lot better about it.

I had a brain fart today. Though I’m pretty sure someone else has thought and done something a lot better about it.

(Source: regourso, via fanartistglaucopis)

10AM

camopolarbear:

dear-monday:

Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.

I felt a little weird saying that as a dude but damn are my breasts magnificent.

(via capslockapocalypse)

10AM
thesassylorax:

smugsbunny:

whoopsimightbegettingsued:

Welp



They realized their error and deleted the tweet but holy fucking shit

thesassylorax:

smugsbunny:

whoopsimightbegettingsued:

Welp

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They realized their error and deleted the tweet but holy fucking shit

(via capslockapocalypse)

9AM

pricklylegs:

These are gold.

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

8AM

(Source: benigoat, via pricklylegs)

8AM

grawly:

inabasket:

Last year for Easter, we got these cool egg decorating kits, with markers, stickers, stencils etc.

I was trying to do an elaborate floral pattern on my eggs, but the stencil kept slipping. I got reeeeally distraught. More distraught than I had any right to be. But no matter how much I concentrated, I couldn’t get the stencil to stay in the right place.

I was having an eggs n’ stencil crisis.

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(via iwillmindfuckyou)

8AM

My girlfriend decided to wake me up at 7:00am today by saying “dang, you slept all day.”, “What time is it?”, “4 o’clock”. I have work from 9:45-2:45 today and if I miss it I’m getting fired. We stayed out til 2:30am-ish looking for my sisters dog. So the pitiful 6hrs of sleep I was going to get was cut down to 4 1/2hrs. On top of that I have to go out of town today for my other job as a bellhop, where I’ll have to move somebody’s crap across town and this is my first day. She acted like it was no big deal and said “god, it was just a joke”. Well guess what, when I wake up in the morning, I can’t go back to sleep. So now I’m tired and looking dreadful for my first day as a bellhop (looking tired on the job will count as a bad review and one bad review means I’m fired.) and my whole fucking day is ruined. The worst part is that she’s done shit like this before and I told her in no uncertain terms not to do it again because of the same fucking reasons that I didn’t want her to do it this time. This is a horrible fucking start to my day and I absolutely did not need this.

8AM
3AM

weweremerelyfreshmen:

Cali jumped out of my car window and ran into the road. She got hit by a car and now I can’t find her. What the fuck do I do?

July292014

(Source: beeishappy, via memewhore)

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